For many years I did not understand what my role in the worship meeting ought to be. I believed that since I was not permitted to speak, my contribution to the Breaking of Bread consisted of listening attentively to the verbal contributions of the brothers and singing along with the hymns. I did not realize that I, too, was called on to take an active part in the worship being offered to the Lord. At last, however, I began to understand that my worship was no less pleasing or significant to God because it was silent. I had just as much responsibility to prepare myself in mind and heart for the Lord’s Supper as any of the brothers. Like them, I needed to spend time in meditation on the Word before the service began. Like them I was called to active worship rather than passive observation. The pauses in the meeting were opportunities for me to contribute to the meeting by my own silent adoration of the Lord. The fact that nobody but God would hear my prayers made no difference. The Holy Spirit could and would use that prayer to contribute to the meeting as a whole, and indeed my silence gave me a freedom, ease and purity in prayer that vocal participation could never have. Furthermore, I discovered that if I had some precious thought which I could not audibly share, I could count on the Holy Spirit to stir up some able brother to express that very same thought. When this first occurred, it was a real confirmation in my heart of the Spirit’s leading and power, and a further occasion for me to give thanks and praise to God.

I now see that as a woman I have special privileges in worship which men will never know. Men, who have the responsibility of taking part audibly, can find their worship overshadowed by nervousness or corrupted by pride. I, however, am able to worship the Lord with my whole heart, to perceive the Spirit’s ministry at the Lord’s Supper in a unique and special way, and to know that my silence is earning for me a greater reward.